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» new jutsu 03
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Post by zamaxis Thu Oct 23, 2008 5:46 pm

Basic Character Information:
Name:Zamaz
Age:23
Gender:Male
Clan:Kilowigi
Weight:173 lbs.
height:5'11

Looks:Not much is known about his looks. He has bright blue hair and deep blue eyes. He wears a full set of armor, including the mask. His armor his covered in shatter proof mirrors. Allows people to see themselves in him and he can also can blend in to the area.

Personality:Not much is known about his personality. He is real calm and quiet and keeps to himself. He is not shy and can have a good time but he remains mystrious and secret. He cares about life and fairness, and believes that if you cant hold your own you should die. He dose not make many friends, not cause he cant but cause he dose not affiliate himself with many people. He is always studying and reading up on new styles of fighting. In battle he gos nuts and unleashes hell on his target. He never holds back and feels no mercy for his target. If you stand in his way, he wont talk about it but start to attack.


Basic Clan Information
[Optional, may not apply]
Kekkei Gekkei:Members of the kilowigi clan have distinct chakra. It has the ability to form reflective surfaces like mirrors. These mirrors can not be shatterd with a simple kuni, but needs great force to shatter them. They can make mirrors pop up to use for shields, attacks or to distract there target. This chakra is only in members of the clan and can only be used by those members.
Description:The clan are also known as the mirror men, cause they have the ability to copy and recreate movements and visions.
Special Effect:
Link: http://beyondtheshinobi.omgforum.net/clan-registration-f34/the-kilowigi-clan-t209.htm#2105


Skill and Rank Information
Village:Ex-leaf
Rank:A-rank missing

Special Characteristics:AT birth he had a metal box surgically implanted into the back of his head. This was attached to his central nerves and connected to his eye nerves. This box allows him to store any thing he sees as a image into the box, enabling him to summon it later in battle.
Special Effects:He can summon things saved in his box and mimic body moves. He can also do one handed signs and is 3 times faster than normal in general.

Elements:water and fire
Skills Specialties:ninjutsu, genjutsu
Weapons:All members have a sword made out of reflective mirror, but this sword is able to take the form of any other weapon it has touched in the past.

Jutsus

Name:Kokuangyou no Jutsu - Journey into Black Darkness Technique
Rank:A
Element:None
Description:Kokuangyou no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique which causes the ninja's opponent to be enveloped in total darkness. While in the black void, the ninja will be unable to see any incoming attack or threat.

Name:Nehan Shouja no Jutsu - Temple of Nirvana Technique
Rank:A
Element:None
Description:Nehan Shouja no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that allows the caster to place a large body of people into a unconscious state. The target can avoid the spell by forming and using the dispel skill.

Name:Dai Endan - Great Fireball
Rank:B
Element:Fire
Description:Dai Endan is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire element. He will first gather the fire into his mouth and then spew a giant breath of fire constantly at his opponent.

Name:Endan - Fireball
Rank:C
Element:Fire
Description:Katon • Endan is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. This jutsu allows him to emit a jet of fire from his mouth.

Name:Goukakyuu no Jutsu - Great Fireball Technique
Rank:C
Element:Fire
Description:Katon • Goukakyuu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. The ninja does the necessary hand seals, draws chakra from their mouth into their chest and them immediately exhales it. They then blow a stream of fire which erupts into a large sphere of flames. To better manage the flames the ninja will bring their hand to their mouth to control it.

Name:Gouryuuka no Jutsu - Great Dragon Fire Technique
Rank:B
Element:Fire
Description:Katon • Gouryuuka no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. After forming the needed hand seals, the ninja will expel dragon head fireballs at their opponent. These powerful fireballs can punch through concrete.

Name:Hibashiri - Running Fire
Rank:B
Element:Fire
Description:Katon Ninpou • Hibashiri is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. which he will use to generate jets of fire which will race towards his target and surround them. This fire can be made more powerful with the introduction of wind from a wind element attack. he will spin and generate a rotating ring of fire, which he will launch towards his target.

Name:Baku Suishouha - Bursting Water Collision Waves
Rank:B
Element:water
Description:waterSuiton • Baku Suishouha is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Water Element. After forming the needed hand seals, He will expel water from his gullet. This will then expand into a large volume of water. He can control the water by riding on top of the waves.

Name:Ukojizai no Jutsu - Fierce Raining at Will
Rank:C
Element:water
Description:Ukojizai no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique which allows him to blanket a wide area with a downpour of rain. He can maintain a connection to the rain and tell when someone is obstructing it. This also allows him to detect the individual's chakra level and skill.

Name:Suigadan - Water Fang Projectile
Rank:C
Element:water
Description:Suiton • Suigadan is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Water Element. The ninja does a string of hand seals to cause a nearby body of water to form a spinning drill.

Name:Suijinheki - Water Encampment Wall
Rank:B
Element:water
description:Suiton • Suijinheki is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Water Element. The ninja will first do a string of hand seals and then proceed to blow out a jet of water from their mouth to act as a water barrier from incoming attack.

Name:Suikoudan no Jutsu - Water Shark Projectile Technique
Rank:B
Element:water
description:Suiton • Suikoudan no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Water Element. The ninja does a string of hand seals which then causes a column of water to rise from the water and then strike their target.

Name:Suirou no Jutsu - Water Prison Technique
Rank:C
Element:water
description:Suirou no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique that utilizes water to imprison an opponent. The ninja forms the necessary hand seals which causes the water to form around the target into a spherical prison which only allows for limited movement. The ninja must keep their body touching the water prison to maintain its existence. If the contact is broken, the water falls away and their target is released. When combined with a bunshin technique, the ninja can imprison their target but still allow for a clone to attack others nearby.

Name:Suishouha - Water Collision Destruction
Rank:B
Element:water
description:Suiton • Suishouha is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Water Element. He does a string of hand seals which then causes a large volume of water to materialize out of nowhere. The water can then be directed at his target.

Name:Daibakufu no Jutsu - Grand Waterfall Technique
Rank:A
Element:water
description:Suiton • Daibakufu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Water Element. After doing the needed hand seals a column of water will circle the ninja and then a large force of water will erupt to hit the attacker. Due to the force of the water the target will be fully enveloped by the water and at its mercy as is pulls them away.



Name:Mirror wall
Rank:C
Element:
description:The user creates a glass surface that reflects everything. What happens in life happens to the target in the mirror. Always effecting the target.

Name:Reflection clones
Rank:C
Element:
description:After the signs, it will Create clones out of peoples reflections and that the user has seen, or that are reflected in his armor.

Name:Mirror dome
Rank:B
Element:
description:A dome made of reflective glass forms around the shinobi. It is paneled with glass and reflects all images. It can spin and move to disorient the target. It also creates many reflections of the shinobi making it hard to tell which ones are real.

Name:Mirror pillers
Rank:C
Element:
description:After the needed hand seals are done, Many pillers of reflective glass will shoot up from the ground. They can spin in any direction, and come up from under the target.

Name:Shattering projectiles
Rank:B
Element:
description:He punches the ground to shatter all forms of glass in the area except his armor. The shards can then be controled and thrown at target. The shards can cut metal and skin. It can go as far as the chakra of the user aloows it, the more chakra, the further it goes.


History:
He was born into a great and noble clan that was respected. He did not know his dad and his mom. At birth he was adopted by his aunt and taught the clans secret styles. When he was three he got his weapon and armor. he then went to the academy along with his brother.
ACADEMY ARCH- At the academy he trained and studied all the time. He never made friends or hung out. Just all the time training. He spent a lot of time with his brother and learned many things from him. He was kidnapped one day by a rouge ninja. A group of jounin hunted them down for three days and finally found him. This scared him so bad that he was afraid to leave the village now. his brother calmed him down and helped him to regain his sense. It was almost time to graduate and zamaz was ready. He finally managed to pass and become brave. He started to make friends and be a little more open.
GENIN ARCH-When he graduated from the academy he went to live with his uncle. His uncle taught him and helped him. He was sent on a lot of missions and was always working on his clans jutsus. He devloped many new styles and ways of fighting. He was sent on an important mission that ended up in killing his whole squad except him. His body was beaten and mangled but he lived. Soon he was found by a sand anbu and taken to konoha. When he finally regained concious he thanked the anbu and vowed to train more. he went in hiding and trained on his own for a while. he spent most of the time enhanching his strength. Soon it was time for the chunin exams and he came out of hiding. he entered the exams and dominated. he showed that he was going to be a great ninja.
CHUNIN ARCH-As a chunin he was sent on his worse mission. His brother had recently left and became a missing ninja. He attacked and zamaz was sent out to kill him. He did not want to kill his brother but this was a mission and he had a will to protect the village. He went out in search of his brother. He found him in a waterfall and attempted to kill him. They fought for many hours, and eventually tooked each other to there knees. Zamaz did a final attack and killed his brother. He carried his brothers dead body back to konoha and cried the whole way there. this was not what he wanted but it was the only way. Back in the village he startd to feel weird about the mission. Soon he realized that this life was not for him. Now he realized what his brother did. He escaped life of order and control. This was not him. So he left the village. He ran for days, hoping that he would not be caught.
MISSING NINJA ARCH- He fled the village and meet up with another escaped ninja and trained with him. He is now feard by konoha.

Rp sample- Zamaz sat in his dark hut and looked down at a black scroll."Now i know what you meant brother." Zamaz was thinking and was wondering how life would turn out for him. People were afraid of him and anbu were even hunting him now. He had been runing for awhile now and was starting to get pissed. Maybe he would stop running and fight.

It was dark outside and the main office was quiet. A dark shadow passed by the window of the old office while a chunin was locking up. The dark figure fell from the roof tops in front of the chunin."Out a little late to night, dont you think?" the chunin looked at zamaz and ran."Not a wise thing to do buddy." said zamaz as he apred infront of the chunin. With a swift motion of the hand, the chunin fell to the ground

The next morning everyone awoke to find a limb less chunin hanging from the Hokages building. His body was mangled and torn, and there was a sign around the bodies neck. The sign said ' Mess with me, and it will be your end' It started to rain as people crowded around the body. The blood began to run all over the place as the rain washed the remains away.

In a small hut, a mile away, zamaz sat in a chair laughing. The future would be full of fun for him and he was ready.


Last edited by zamaxis on Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:05 pm; edited 11 times in total (Reason for editing : change)
zamaxis
zamaxis
Konoha Jounin
Konoha Jounin

Number of posts : 49
Age : 31
Location : your moms house
Country : Shichiyougakure no Sato
Element : Water
Element #2 : Fire
Registration date : 2008-10-18

Ninja Profile
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Post by Yun Disukai Thu Oct 23, 2008 8:04 pm

-First off, Spelling errors are Extremely Numerous. Fix those.
- History, Personality and RP sample are all too Short.
-Clean up the App in General is Quite Messy we like things Neat and Tidy~
-More detail on your Special Characteristics+weapons.
-There are several Jutsu in your App that are Water Remove.
-Remove all Mud Techs.
Yun Disukai
Yun Disukai
A Ranked Missing-Ninja
A Ranked Missing-Ninja

Number of posts : 534
Age : 31
Location : over the Horizon
Country : Sunagakure no Sato
Element : Wind
Registration date : 2008-10-09

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http://www.dystopia.forumotion.net

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Post by zamaxis Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:09 pm

ok, done, i changed up alot, so if some one would look at it now, thanks
zamaxis
zamaxis
Konoha Jounin
Konoha Jounin

Number of posts : 49
Age : 31
Location : your moms house
Country : Shichiyougakure no Sato
Element : Water
Element #2 : Fire
Registration date : 2008-10-18

Ninja Profile
Health Bar:
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Post by Last Temptation Mon Oct 27, 2008 5:19 pm

- You can't be an S ranked Missing Ninja with not even 1 S rank technique. Change to A ranked Missing Ninja.

- History Arcs Need ALOT more detail.

- 'Mizu Kawarimi - Water Replacement'
Remove.

- Go post your clan in Clan Signups using the right template. Once it's approved put the link on here and we will go from there.

- Simply put, Mirror is not an Element. So when it asks for the element, don't put 'clan'.

- 'Reflection clones'

There has to be limitations, He can't simply make a clone of EVERYTHING he's seen. I would say change it to the clone will form out of whoever is looking at the user. So say a cat was looking at him, the clone would form into a cat. Otherwise, No.

- 'Mirror dome'

How can reflections of the mirror attack an opponent?

- 'Mirror pillers'

Are handseals needed? Please add more detail!

- 'Shattering projectiles'

What's their range? Is handseals needed? Please as I said before, Add detail.

- 'Sharp chakra pool'

You would need to be wind elemented for this to work. It wouldn't simply 'Suck them in'.

- Alot more detail in RP Sample.
Last Temptation
Last Temptation
Admin
Admin

Number of posts : 844
Age : 34
Location : Lurking in the Shadows
Country : Konohagakure no Sato
Element : Fire
Element #2 : Wind
Registration date : 2008-10-07

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Post by zamaxis Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:05 pm

ok i did all those changes, and i think its good.
zamaxis
zamaxis
Konoha Jounin
Konoha Jounin

Number of posts : 49
Age : 31
Location : your moms house
Country : Shichiyougakure no Sato
Element : Water
Element #2 : Fire
Registration date : 2008-10-18

Ninja Profile
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Post by Last Temptation Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:02 pm

Your clan hasn't been approved, untill then I can't really even look more into this. Post here or PM me when you get it approved.
Last Temptation
Last Temptation
Admin
Admin

Number of posts : 844
Age : 34
Location : Lurking in the Shadows
Country : Konohagakure no Sato
Element : Fire
Element #2 : Wind
Registration date : 2008-10-07

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